I tried to think of a clever title for this posting, but there is nothing cute or clever about loneliness. It is the single most talked about and lamented feeling spoken of in my practice. How did we all get so disconnected? Many single people lament their solo status believing that finding the right partner will end their unhappiness. Some married people will tell you they are more alone in...
Read MoreWho hasn’t heard or participated in a discussion at some point about fear of failure? It seems like a very straightforward term with clear definition, but I believe it is more often than not an entirely different issue simply camouflaged as something it is not. I believe fear of failure is far more often fear of success. Decline promotions you earned at work because the timing is never ...
Read MoreAs I anxiously look forward to the arrival next week of my new Polish Lowland Sheepdog (PON) puppy, Piper, I couldn’t help but make this week’s blog posting about dogs as therapists. I speak only of dogs because that is what I know, not to discriminate against other types of animals. Like too many of us, I grew up with my own flavor of dysfunctional family. There was very little joy...
Read MoreSorry I missed my regular posting last week for those who are following my blog. I had a death in my family and traveled back east, but I’m happy to be home in the desert now and getting caught up. A funeral brings up thoughts about healthy and unhealthy forms of communication and how each can affect people and relationships. I don’t know who said it first, but I have always appreciated the...
Read MoreIt’s now been decades since we first heard the term “co-dependent.” It seems like the more the word gets used the more confusing the definition becomes. So, I came up with my own simple working definition of co-dependency many years ago: When helping you hurts me, I have crossed the line into co-dependency. If I know you have no money to buy gas to get to work tomorrow and I give you $10...
Read MoreIt’s a term you hear often but may not know what it means. One thing is for sure, you know it isn’t a compliment if someone says it about you! If it’s something you encounter in another person in your life, you will instantly recognize how frustrating the behavior is, whether you know what it’s called or not. “Passive-aggressive” refers to a way of behaving. If I do absolutely n...
Read MoreI participated in a project several years ago that focused on how people are attracted to one another in romantic relationships. It was a natural extension of other work I was doing at the time, teaching a dating workshop and leading a support group for newly-single people looking to find and be healthier in a new relationship. I read extensive research, looked at all the popular dating servic...
Read MoreQuestion: What is the most reported reason marriages fail? Answer: Money. Question: What is the real reason why marriages fail? Answer: COMPETITION! The most popular belief about the source of conflict in relationships, money, isn’t about money at all. It is about the distribution of power in a relationship, and money is simply the language of the conflict. Couples that manage t...
Read MoreIf you want to do what is best for your children, fix your marriage. If you cannot fix your marriage, do what is best for your children. Who hasn’t heard someone say they are in committed to a bad marriage because they are “staying together for the children?” Maybe the intentions are the absolute best or maybe it’s a cover for fear of having to start over, maybe it’s a lot of thi...
Read MoreAmazon Grief and Loss Bestseller and NUMBER ONE on Kindle for 14 consecutive weeks and FOUR MONTHS in TOP 10 books!!!!...
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